October is sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) awareness month. Many parents have heard about the sudden, unexpected death of an infant, usually during periods of sleep. But the syndrome, which affects babies under the age of 1, and its causes still largely remain a mystery.

According to the Baltimore City Health Department, the city experienced the lowest infant mortality rate on record in 2015—8.4 per 1,000 live births—a 19 percent decline from 2014. Each year, about 4,000 infants die unexpectedly during sleep from SIDS, accidental suffocation, or unknown causes.

Last year, Baltimore native Shantell Roberts developed a Portable Alternative Crib (PAC) for expectant mothers and caregivers, which features a mattress at the bottom of a box to serve as a baby’s first bed. After losing her infant daughter years ago to SIDS, she has dedicated her life to helping other mothers to protect their babies by promoting safe sleep.

“It’s a national epidemic,” she said. “It’s always a problematic topic, especially within multi-generational households who have older family members who think it’s a myth.”

On October 6, the fourth annual Walk for Hope will take place at Lake Montebello to raise awareness for SIDS and infant loss. The Baltimore-based nonprofit Elijah’s Hope Foundation “walks for the babies who have left us too soon” whether from SIDS or miscarriage. The proceeds from the walk will go to the Elijah Hope Scholarship for a graduate student pursuing a degree in social work, public health, nursing, or human services with a concentration in maternal and infant and child health.

To help protect your babies, we’ve put together the recommendations from the National Institute for Health (NIH) and the Center for Disease Control (CDC) for safe sleep for babies to prevent SIDS:

Place the baby on his or her back during sleep.
Although parents are concerned with choking during sleep, there’s no need to worry. The baby’s natural bodily instincts will take over and prevent that from happening when the baby is sleeping on their backs.

A firm mattress with a fitted sheet is all you need.
Soft surfaces, such as memory foam, can increase the baby’s chances of sleep-related death. Keeping soft objects like pillows, blankets, and stuffed toys out of the crib will also decrease the chances of SIDS.

“Instead of using a blanket to keep the baby warm during the night, try a wearable blanket or thicker sleep clothing,” Roberts suggests.

The baby can share your room, but should not share your bed.
“It’s so easy for moms to breastfeed their babies and then fall asleep with them in the bed,” Roberts said. “You can have the baby as close to your bed as possible, just not in the bed.”

Accidental suffocation and strangulation can happen when a baby is sleeping sharing a bed increasing the risk of SIDS by 50 percent.

Do not smoke around your baby.
Environmental things like smoke, dust, and mold can also contribute to SIDS in infants.

“It’s pretty self-explanatory, but it’s something I have to reiterate often,” Roberts said. “No matter what you’re smoking, it should not be done around your baby.”

“EDIE,” I hear my husband roar from our bedroom. “GO. TO. SLEEP. PLEASE.”

I jump up from my sofa nest, grab a clean bottle from the sink, and shovel in three scoops of formula. Sprinting up the stairs, I make a point to avoid the especially creaky spots so as not to disturb our son, and then realize that perhaps his sister’s wailing is a bit louder than my footsteps.

In our room, my husband is still in bed with pillows over his head, clearly honoring our pact to try “crying it out” for a few nights. I take that as a cue to hold off on adding water to the bottle and crawl in next to him. We lay, not speaking, for 10 minutes. Edie eventually starts sucking on her fingers and her shrieks turn to whimpers, which turn to hilarious baby snores. Newly aware that sheets make noise if a human moves on them, I quietly kick Rob to see if he’s awake and am not surprised to find that he was able to drift off. My wired, tired brain makes the decision to sneak back downstairs and I fall asleep two hours later while my 43rd viewing of Arrested Development blares from the TV.

This is sleep training a baby. Or perhaps, more accurately, this is the undoing of two adults.

We took pains early on to create a good sleep environment for Edie. Our son was colicky and the first two months were rough, but he evened out into a decent sleeper. Not taking into account that human beings are actually quite different from one another, we assumed Edie would be exactly the same. To prepare, we drained our savings and hired a night nanny who would help us survive colic and get us through early infancy. Edie, however, never had colic and slept beautifully during the nights that dear, wonderful Miranda was in charge. Congratulating our foresight and willingness to forgo decent food in the name of sleep, we sent our fairy godmother on her way to help other, more desperate families.

We have not slept a full night since.

We call Edie the Party Sunshine Girl: I’d never seen a human smile with their whole body until she came along. She is happy and has tons of energy and always needs to be in the mix and it’s this formula that makes her situation a Möbius strip of wonder—she doesn’t sleep because she wants to hang out but how does she have energy to hang out if she doesn’t sleep? What dark baby magic fuels her?

I can tell you that her parents are low on fuel. We’ve read lots of books and scoured parent forums and asked friends, but nothing has really worked. On our best nights, she wakes up in the middle of the night to eat and then is up for the day at 5:30. On our harder nights, there is a lot of yell-whispering and passive aggressive sighing while Rob and I dissolve into the worst versions of ourselves. One night I slammed the door to our room, but it’s a pocket door so it bounced back open and woke everyone up. On the bad nights, we can’t even be awful very well.

Though I’m confident we’ll eventually find the right sleep advice (or that Edie will turn 18 and go terrorize her college roommate), right now we’re in the weeds. We have really fulfilling, happy moments as a family that are book-ended by one of us falling asleep on the sofa in the middle of making dinner, or having a fight because the other needs to catch up on work once the kids go to bed.

The hardest part about sleep deprivation is the relationship deprivation—right now our existences rely solely on someone we barely have time to connect with. But, we’ve been careful not to wish this time away. In the moments when the fog clears and we can speak with some clarity about our life right now, the good soars above the bad. Our kids are magic and being a parent is so much more incredible than I imagined.

But, oh, how we’d like to get some damn sleep, Edith.

Listen up, parents-to-be—gray is the new pink or blue. When it comes to decorating the nursery, more and more families are opting for soft, neutral tones over the bright, themed, gender-specific designs of the past.

But that’s not the only change going on in the world of baby-room design. We checked in with some of the metro area’s top interior designers to find out what’s hot and what’s not, and they offered lots of advice on things to consider before you buy that big bag of garish stick-on wall giraffes.

For starters, the décor tastes of grown-ups are being taken a little more seriously.

“A lot of my clients request a nursery that isn’t too juvenile,” says Elizabeth Lawson, a Baltimore-based interior designer who works with clients across the country. “They want the room to grow with their child. They also want a nursery with a gender-neutral color scheme, because, later on, the room may be used for a second child.”

A project Lawson recently completed for a family expecting a baby girl, for example, opted for cool-toned blueish-gray walls rather than pink. Layered rugs over the hardwood floor add warmth and texture, while a white dresser’s gold-bar drawer pulls give the room a grown-up, luxe touch. 

Absent are the typical baby animals or ABCs art—instead, a framed photo print of a dusty pink handkerchief on a sandy beach complements the room’s soft color palette. 

“We’re also designing with a lot of wood tones and natural materials,” Lawson adds, pointing to the wicker baskets used for storage, unstained natural wood crib, and watercolor bedding.

While it’s a good idea to let a favorite print or accent color inspire your design, Lawson points out one reason parents should avoid anything too “theme-y.” “Grandparents and other family members have the tendency to get carried away, and you’ll be seeing elephants and ducks for years to come,” she says with a laugh.

Nurseries are also adopting a cleaner, less busy look, following in the footsteps of popular interior-design trends, such as minimalist decor and mid-century modern furniture. “The hottest trend right now is eclectic minimalism, and by that I mean nurseries that don’t follow a formula and are relatively sparse compared to nurseries of five years ago,” says Mary Bauer, founder and president of Bratt Decor, a Baltimore-based company that makes designer children’s furniture. “Parents today are breaking old rules of full matching suites of furniture with one voice. We are seeing ornate cribs with modern dressers and custom bedding. Black and white nurseries are a thing right now, too.”

The grown-ups can also win this one: Creating a room that will outlive its initial raison d’être can mean adopting furniture styles and color palettes found in the kitchen and adult living areas.

While two white models of Bratt Decor’s classic-looking iron cribs are its best sellers, Bauer says she’s seeing a rise in black, too. But regardless of the color or style, parents most value furniture that grows with their child. 

“Always choose a crib that will transition into a toddler bed, daybed, or full bed,” Bauer advises. “All of our designs can be used indefinitely.”

The concept extends beyond the crib. “When designing, we think a lot about how the nursery will grow with the child, because they grow quickly,” Lawson says. “Rather than using a changing table that is strictly a changing table, I always recommend using a dresser and placing a changing pad on top.”

It’s a concept Ashley Barbalato took to heart when putting together the nursery for her now 14-month-old son, Julien, in the Riverside rowhome she and her husband recently remodeled.

“I wanted to be able to reuse many of the pieces in the future and have things that would grow with my son,” she recalls. “I love monochromatic schemes that allow for a lot of flexibility with accessories. I tried to keep things timeless and simple, but still playful.” 

While Barbalato stuck to the neutral tones across the walls and furniture, she infused the space with pops of texture and personality with a few fun pieces, including a fluffy “rocking sheep”—a Nordic take on the traditional rocking horse—made from natural carved wood and soft cream-colored fur. In the center of the ceiling hangs a fanciful light in the shape of a gold crown that looks as though it was plucked from the head of Max in Maurice Sendak’s classic children’s book, Where the Wild Things Are.

“Once my son outgrew the infant stage, I wanted to have as little of a transition as possible into the toddler stage,” Barbalato adds. “I didn’t want to spend more money on things like artwork, bedding and storage. Instead, I chose pieces that I knew would keep up with my child’s interests and growth.”

Finally, Mom and Dad can be a little self-indulgent: As a new parent, you’ll be spending countless—sometimes stressful—hours in this space, so Lawson recommends a tranquil design where you can relax. “Simplicity is key,” Lawson adds. “Parenting is stressful and exhausting and the nursery should be a calming refuge at all times.”

With that in mind, parents shouldn’t skimp on aspects of the room that will make the space enjoyable for them, too. “It needs to be comfortable for both parents and baby,” says Lawson. “A comfortable chair or glider is a must.”

Barbalato agrees. “Keep your baby’s room clean and simple. It will create a calm space for you and your little one. Accessorize for play and imagination. Lastly, remember this is a space that you will spend a lot of time in, too. How do you want to feel in the space? What would you like to see? Moms are allowed to be selfish sometimes, too!”

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The Nursery Checklist

Our panel of designers also offered some useful advice on planning the space.  

Don’t Rush
“My clients usually want to get started designing their nursery right away, because they’re excited,” Lawson says. “But the first thing new parents should consider when designing is functionality and making sure they have the appropriate furniture pieces.”

Most expectant moms do the bulk of nursery prep in the second trimester, according to a reader survey by The Bump, a website for first-time millennial parents. Cribs and other furniture can take 10 or more weeks to be delivered, so experts recommend parents make selecting and ordering it a priority.

Customize
Nursery checklists are a great place to get started—just be sure to customize them to your family’s needs. As rowhome residents, for example, the Barbalato family learned to select pieces that served multiple functions in order to maximize the tight space. “I’ve actually learned that less is more when it comes to my child’s room,” she says. “When I was first designing and furnishing it, I felt like I had to have everything on ‘The Baby List,’ but that’s not the case.” 

Think about the space
With space at a premium, Barbalato says she reevaluated larger pieces that some books and websites cited as must-haves. “Do we really need something like a huge ottoman to accompany our glider? I learned that we don’t. Instead, we have an oversized floor pouf that worked great during those sleepless nights and is now serving as an awesome climbing gym for my son.”

It’s all in the details
When creating your own checklist, think about your specific needs. Will the baby’s room be hit with a strong afternoon sun? Blackout curtains are a must, then, for making mid-day naps easier. Live on a busy street? Consider a sound machine to cancel out outside noises that could keep baby up. Flexible lighting options—like a soft lamp and night light in addition to the overhead light—can help you adapt the brightness for the room’s many uses, from playtime to middle-of-the-night diaper changes and feedings.

BeLeaf 

In our city’s ever-evolving effort to become a “cleaner, greener” version of itself, the Flowering Tree Trails of Baltimore initiative is the beautiful, fragrant next step. The effort—organized by a coalition of city governmental departments, environmental groups, and volunteers—aims to plant 6,000 flowering ornamental trees along 39 miles of Baltimore trails. In the spring, when they flower, the trails will be visually connected and become a source of splendor for residents and tourists alike. 

“In time, our city could be as famous for its Flowering Tree Trails as Washington, D.C., is for its cherry blossoms and New York is for the High Line,” says the initiative’s website. The plantings, which can range from—crabapples and cherry trees to dogwoods and silverbells—will contribute to the city’s goal of increasing its tree canopy from 28 percent to 40 percent by 2037. That is the level of coverage the U.S. Forest Service recommends if Baltimore wants to improve its air quality. The first trees went into the ground on November 11, during a ceremony in Druid Hill Park. Organizers estimate that, when all is said and planted, the initiative will cost somewhere in the low seven figures. Fundraising efforts are underway.

Bay Watch

Maryland Senator Chris Van Hollen has introduced legislation to increase funding for a program that helps farmers prevent agricultural runoff from entering the bay. According to the Chesapeake Bay Program “agriculture is the single largest source of nutrient and sediment pollution entering the Chesapeake Bay.” The bill, officially titled the Chesapeake Bay Farm Bill Enhancements Act of 2017, would triple funding—from $100 million to $300 million—available to farmers for mitigating practices such as constructing secure manure storage, installing cover crops, practicing no-till farming, and maintaining forested stream buffers. 

Van Hollen’s bill has already garnered multiple sponsors, including one Republican, Sen. Shelley Moore Capito of West Virginia. According to The Washington Post, Congressman Robert C. “Bobby” Scott of Virginia’s 3rd District will introduce an identical bill in the House, but is still gathering support. Separately, Congress continues to debate 2018 funding levels for the Chesapeake Bay cleanup program—a six-state, $73 million agreement to curb pollution that President Trump has proposed eliminating.   

Sewer Followup

When last we checked in with Baltimore City’s $1.6 billion plan to upgrade its failing sewer system, the city was locked in a dispute with water quality advocacy group Blue Water Baltimore over the scope of the federally mandated consent decree. Blue Water Baltimore wanted the work to continue until water quality met a certain benchmark, even if that meant performing repairs and upgrades outside the purview of the initial agreement. The city—and the federal government—argued that this was not feasible or necessary. In October, a federal judge sided with the city and federal government. The first phase of the project, which will address 83% of sewer overflows, is supposed to be completed by January 1, 2021. All remaining work is to be completed by 2030. The consent decree can be viewed in full here.  

Park Places

• The ribbon cutting of a redeveloped baseball field in West Baltimore provided the setting for a classic Orioles reunion last week as Cal Ripken Jr., Eddie Murray, and Brooks Robinson gathered at the newly dedicated Eddie Murray Field at BGE Park. The park, a project of the Cal Ripken Sr. Foundation, now features a synthetic turf baseball diamond, dugouts, a backstop, and a digital scoreboard. The field is located behind James Mosher Elementary School and will host after- school programming in addition to James Mosher Baseball—the oldest continuously operating African-American youth baseball league in the country.
• Users of the Stony Run trail that snakes through many of North Baltimore’s most coveted neighborhoods had cause for celebration in early October. After nearly 10 years and $1 million in investment, two footbridges opened creating the final linkages in the trail that runs between Roland Avenue and North Charles Street from just below Northern Parkway to Remington.  
• In October, the state announced it will allocate $23 million to protect parcels of farmland, forest, and open space in 17 conservation districts around the state. The funds are part of the Rural Legacy Program, a program of the state Department of Natural Resources, that works “to preserve large, contiguous tracts of land and to enhance natural resource, agricultural, forestry and environmental protection while supporting a sustainable land base for natural resource based industries.” This year’s recipients include the Manor and Piney Run areas in Baltimore County, and the Deer Creek area of Harford County. 

Babies in a Half Shell: Turtle Power!

In late September, the National Park Service announced that a nest of loggerhead sea turtles successfully hatched on Assateague Island National Seashore. The approximately 100 hatchlings emerged from one nest site in the Maryland Over Sand Vehicle zone and successfully made their way out to sea. This is the first successful hatch of loggerhead sea turtles on Assateague, though other attempts have been noted in recent years. The species generally does not nest north of North Carolina. Bill Hulslander, chief of resource management for the National Seashore says, the hatch “underscores the increasing importance of undeveloped beaches along Assateague Island to sea turtles and other federally threatened and endangered species.”

Being a parent in 2016 is incredible in many ways, but perhaps outshining them all is the access to smartphones. If my kid is sick, I can book a doctor’s appointment, add it to my calendar, text my husband to update him, and have medicine delivered to my door in an hour all while playing soothing music (which in Lou’s case is still, impossibly, “Hotline Bling”). The ability for one device to do all those things is amazing, but it is simply an embarrassment of riches that that same device can also take unlimited, professional-grade photos of my son.

I am in no way a trained photographer. I am simply a lady with a baby, an iPhone, and just enough free time to really dig deep into the vanity of documenting a child made partially in my likeness. Below are a few of my thoughts on the matter of photographing your kid. With the holidays approaching and cards to print and mail to family, frenemies, and coworkers, I thought it might be worth sharing some unsolicited advice.

Perspective

At a happy hour with a buddy of mine, we discovered our sons might not share the friendship we’ve enjoyed for over 20 years. Through tears of laughter, I got a shot of both their reactions to really seeing each other for the first time, and they’re among my favorite from Lou’s first year. Until these shots, I hadn’t considered capturing what Lou was reacting to, but now I make it a practice to include multiple vantage points—especially since most of the time it just means turning around.

Opportunity

The outtakes can be the best stuff. Each morning that Lou turned a month older, I’d photograph him in the same spot—a common practice, I know, but an effective one. This was taken at six months, when his life was dominated by learning to sit up and pointing his index finger. This picture tells you which skill he still needed to work on. As long as they’re safe and happy, snap a few more pictures once your intended shot is a bust. This image feels so incredibly Lou, and it made me step back from my Dina Lohan brand of crazy-mom photography and instead focus on capturing his silliness.

Reflection

Babies love their reflections. Mirrors are intoxicating to a young mind, but kind of terrible for picture taking, especially since there is a 100-percent chance I’ll be captured in the reflection looking crazy and covered in cat hair. Instead, keep an eye out for all the other remarkable places in which they find their reflection. Lou had recently learned to pull himself to standing when he was seduced by the glow of the dessert case at Marie Louise Bistro one night. We let him gaze in, and because it was way past his bedtime, I was able to get a shot flooded with light against a nice pool of darkness. The best shots I’ve taken of this kid are when he’s naturally drawn to something, even (or especially) when it’s his own face.

Pets

Since he came home from the hospital, Lou has loved and been loved by our cat Richard. They snuggle together, they chase each other around, and they often drink out of the same water bowl because I’m learning to pick my battles. I’ve probably taken 300 pictures of these buddies and this the only one that’s any good because they share a sixth sense that alerts them that I’m reaching for my phone. But, I’m not a quitter and I purchased more space in my Cloud, so after a few months of unusable flashes of white fur and baby rolls, I finally got this shot.

Simplicity

The best spot for Lou’s high chair happened to be against a dark wall in our living room, and it’s turned out to be a fantastic backdrop for pictures. If there’s a spot in your living or dining room that you particularly like—or even just a solid-colored wall—try moving your baby’s eating situation there. Babies are like drunk college students when they eat: the goal is to shovel it in quickly and without the irksome realities of polite society. And as parents, it’s our job to photograph the hell out of their messes and then pretend to be strict about better manners. Taking these pictures against a solid backdrop highlights your kid and has the added bonus of leaving out the clutter in the space behind you.

Negative Space

For the purposes of this post, let’s assume “negative space” means “any space without babies in it.” My initial instinct when photographing Lou was to get in close and document every curve of his sweet little face, but as he’s gotten older, I’ve pulled back the frame. Creating a sense of place gives you more reference points down the line because it’s hard to tell where the picture was taken if it’s entirely filled with baby face, cute as it might be.

Hey Mama!

Hello! You’re a lovely person who Russian-dolled herself for nine months and lived to tell the tale of human extraction, so get in the damn pictures with that baby. It’s really easy to forget to jump in the shot (and being sleep deprived and discovering pureed pear in your hair isn’t the most glamorous you’ve ever been), but your kid will one day look for your face in his arsenal of baby pictures and you should be in them. Sneaking a glass of wine during an unforeseen nap or conducting a feed on the ground of a parking lot won’t be the biggest moments in your lives, but there’s a sweetness in capturing the little stuff.

At 10 months old, our kid is doing everything he can to walk. And with only 10 months of parenting a previously sedentary baby under our belts, my husband and I are freaking out.

Lou recently plowed headfirst into a hot pink metallic piggy bank (that isn’t even his—it’s mine because I have no taste when I impulse-buy). He sustained a nasty gash to the forehead, which led to the first “does he need stitches?” conversation. After much deliberation, we decided a few Steri-Strips and a dose of Tylenol would suffice. We tucked him into bed and took a moment to survey his little kingdom.

“His room,” my husband said, gesturing to all the crap in his nursery “needs to look a lot less like this, and a lot more like a dojo.”

And so began the undoing of Lou’s thoughtfully appointed nursery.

As items are removed, we’ve marveled at the complete idiots we were a year ago. Like all parents, we got really into the creation of his nursery. Paint colors were deliberated over and cribs were given brutal analyses and pitted against one another in consumer-testing battles. We bought books with actual paper pages to fill his bookshelves, believing that he would respect and lovingly handle them. His B-list stuffed animals were tucked away in the closet, lest they clutter the visual calm we’d created for our child.

And for many months, we actually lived in this fantasy world. Infants have no idea where or what they are, and therefore can’t get into much trouble. As Lou got a little bigger and stronger, he’d occasionally manage to roll over or scoot a few inches, which caused total elation on our part and zero clutter on his. But in the past month, he’s gone from an adorable, gentle scoot to a crazed, rapid crawl and his room has got to keep up.

To illustrate the undoing that must be done, I’ve included a few images. Parents of toddlers: you are welcome to laugh. Your homes are already stripped of your design preferences and are now primary-colored monuments to play-learning and locked toilets. Parents of perfect, milky, inactive newborns (or soon-to-be parents who are spending quiet moments in your Pinterest-worthy nurseries): you no longer live in a home for grown-ups. That kid is going to take off one day and either break your stuff or break himself.

Almost all of these issues
have been addressed. The piggy bank that
broke Lou’s fall turned out to actually have money in it, so we cashed out and
invested in some child-proofing gear and a huge, hideous, amazing indoor fence
area which we filled with soft floor tiles, a ball pit, and all those
previously hidden stuffed animals.