Sigh.

And so we have Divergent, aka, The Hunger Games but with less fun wigs.

In
this film’s version of the future, Chicago is the only city to have
survived the apocalypse. (Totally believable. If they can survive their
own winters, a little nuclear winter should be a snap.)

The whole
population has been divided into factions—and it’s a bit like high
school. There’s Erudite (the brains), Candor (the school narcs),
Dauntless (the jocks), Amity (the hippie tree-huggers), and Abnegation
(the student government). Basically, it’s The Breakfast Club
goes dystopian. Our heroine, Tris (Shailene Woodley) is a member of
Abnegation and, as well as being the governing faction, they’re known
for their lack of vanity and selflessness.

Anyway, when a child
turns 16 in this universe, they attend the Reaping—er, Choosing Day
ceremony—where they get to pick which faction they want to belong to.
First, there’s a test to determine your natural place. You can choose
against your biology but it’s not recommended.

When Tris takes her
test, the tester (Maggie Q) freaks out and tells her to sneak out the
back and run for her life, rarely a good sign.

Turns out she’s a
“divergent”—or what we might’ve called a “floater” back in high
school—she doesn’t fit into any one group. This makes her a threat to
the ruling overlords, headed by Kate Winslet, in important hair.

So Tris has to hide her true identity, kind of pesky in a world where they have the technology to see inside your head.

Instead
of taking the safe route and sticking with Abnegation, she joins the
cool kids of Dauntless. Her brother Caleb (Ansel Elgort, who will play
Woodley’s lover in the The Fault in Our Stars—awkward!) joins
Erudite. Something tells me this ends up being a bigger deal in future
books, as Erudite is conspiring with Winslet’s Jeanine to take over the
government.

In Dauntless, Tris meets Four (Theo James), the
studly, but unapproachable trainer of the new recruits, who begins to
take a keen interest in her. But why?

A lot of Divergent
plays like a sci-fi basic training film, with Tris having to overcome a
series of tests of endurance and bravery. But one of the cool elements
of the plot: She needs to try to think like a Dauntless—i.e., using
tools and strength—not like a “Divergent”—who might use a combination of
all traits, plus an almost extrasensory intuition. I dig it.

That
being said, there are a few problems: The film is almost two and a half
hours long, and seems poorly paced. The beginning has a leisurely
tempo—the final third, which contains much of the pivotal action, feels
rushed. Also, the film doesn’t have the wit or eye popping flair of The Hunger Games.

As
for Woodley? It’s unfair to compare her to the talent-and-charm bomb
that is Jennifer Lawrence, but she’s darn good. She has an alertness
about her, an intelligence in her eyes—she draws you in. And Theo
James—previously famed for taking Lady Mary’s virginity (and
inconveniently dropping dead) on Downton Abbey—proves to be an appropriately studly and appealing male lead.

I’m
looking forward to the next installment. Will the districts finally
overtake the capitol and will Katniss prevail? Sorry. I swear I’ll get
this straight eventually.

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