I’m not going to sugarcoat it. This has been hard. We survived a week of adjustments and togetherness (so much togetherness) and that sinking feeling, for this extrovert, of deleting her entire color-coded Google calendar for the foreseeable future.

After an intense family vote, we’ve officially named our homeschool, “The Diamond Nature School of America.” My nine-year-old, Zeke, created a logo and I promised we would make tee shirts at some point. The name is fitting, as we’ve done most of our “schooling” this past week outdoors.

While properly practicing social distancing, we visited the Daniels Area at Patapsco Valley State Park, NCR Trail, Gunpowder Falls South Trail, Beverly Triton Beach Park, Cromwell Valley Park, and Historic Jerusalem Mill Village. Even on the rainy days I make my kids put on their raincoats and take a walk around the block. (“Don’t go near anyone. Don’t touch anything,” I reiterate to them.) Fresh air cures all, for them and for me. A walk in the woods is my Xanax.

But I know there also needs to be some semblance of school. “This isn’t a vacation,” I keep reminding my oldest. (And myself.) But I’m struggling. Four kids, three grades, and one family laptop. (I may have had my 13-year-old write a persuasive essay last week about why he needed Xbox Live.)

So, I reached out to two friends—Jennifer Solomon and Miranda Altschuler—who homeschool by choice to see if they could offer some suggestions to those of us who are homeschooling by being thrown off a cliff.

Solomon and Altschuler both homeschool a gaggle of girls. Solomon’s are 4, 7, and 10, and Altschuler, in addition to a brand-new baby, has an 11, 8, and 5 year old.

“We began homeschooling a few years ago and have never looked back,” Solomon says. “During one particularly enthusiastic moment, I may have even said that homeschooling is just so wonderful, everyone should do it—but I didn’t actually mean it, you guys,” she jokes.

Altschuler adds that, as longtime homeschoolers, her family’s adjustment hasn’t been quite so drastic. But for parents who are finding themselves suddenly homeschooling, she hopes that the following tips help “provide a bit of clarity amidst the chaos.”

1. Our “best” is going to look different every day, and that is just fine.

JS: Some days, everything will fall into place beautifully and your little angels will engage and learn and you’ll Instagram it all (#coronavirusschooling!) and wonder why you haven’t been doing this all along. Other days will be a struggle. They’ll bicker and you’ll snap, and you’ll find yourself rationalizing any and everything as a learning opportunity just so you can be over-and-done-with-it for the day. So we’re just going to try to get through this the best we can.

2. Go easy on yourself!

JS: Lower your self-expectations and demands. You’ve been thrown into a situation that is new and somewhat scary. That friend of yours posting an hour-by-hour recap of “Mommy-Camp Homeschool” may be well-intentioned, but posts like those can really trigger feelings of inadequacy. Right now we are all feeling vulnerable and, frankly, pretty clueless. None of us knows what we’re doing because, well, none of us has ever faced a GLOBAL PANDEMIC before. Now isn’t the time for competitive parenting.

3. Don’t worry about academic regression.

JS: Your kids are not going to fall behind. I repeat: your kids are not going to fall behind. As a global community, we are all in the same boat—albeit a really terrible, careening, lurching boat (definitely getting a one-star Yelp review from me)—together right now. Your child’s emotional and mental health is more important than their academic progress during this time.

4. Don’t try to recreate school at home.

MA: Schooling at home is less formal and takes less time because there are fewer students. Homeschooling should be made to meet the needs and preferences of your family and individual children. Have your students’ list of goals in front of you while you determine how lesson time should be allocated in your home during this unusual stretch of time.

5. You can be flexible with your schooling when that’s what the mood dictates.

JS: Did your kid read a comic book today? BOOM. Reading. Right there. Did you bake a double batch of cookies together to stress-eat later? Nice! Measuring equals math skills. Play a board game? Logic and reasoning! Spend all day outside? Recess! Nature! Tackle chores and laundry? Life skills. Your kids aren’t going to fall behind; they’re just going to learn a little differently for a while.

6. Consider the whole child.

MA: What are your child’s physical, emotional, and academic needs? Younger students need plenty of free play and new math and phonics skills reinforced. Older students may need to study for the SATs and develop life skills they’ll take with them to college. Every child needs responsibilities around the house and time outside.

7. Don’t try to do ALL the things.

JS: One silver lining to this awful situation has been the outpouring of online resources to help teach and occupy our kids. From art tutorials to virtual field trips to read-alouds to yoga classes, we have an unprecedented wealth of resources at our fingertips. Authors, educators, artists, and musicians are showing their true colors and offering countless activities and videos. And that is amazing, and helpful, and generous, but it is also A LOT.

You don’t have to do all the things. You don’t even have to do five of the things. If you happen to do ONE of the things and your kids enjoy it, that’s great, but there is no pressure to do all the fun things, all the time. It’s exhausting.

8. Seek out great materials and resources.

MA: Explore book lists provided by teachers or found online. Take a look at your own bookshelf. Check out ebooks and audiobooks available through your library. Find books that will naturally pique your child’s interest through engaging narratives, not just text books.

9. Involve your children in the planning.

JS: Kids respond really well when we give them a sense of ownership and treat them as though they are actually our fellow human beings (a difficult concept to grasp sometimes, I know). When children and teens feel respected and included, they are less likely to push back. With ownership comes accountability.

10. Follow through, but ease in.

MA: We don’t want to recreate school at home, but we also don’t want a disorienting free-for-all. For the first few days of your plan, just do skill work. Then, every day or two, add a subject. Do one thing well, then try another. These are not normal times, so take it slow and be gentle with yourselves and each other.

11. Prioritize relationships.

MA: Children need structure and freedom, expectations and acceptance. Whether we homeschool or not, our children rely on us to cultivate an atmosphere where they can learn and grow, secure in our commitment to who they are and who they can become. Perhaps this awful situation is also an opportunity, and our families can come out the other side of this experience even stronger.

12. Remember we are in the middle of a public health crisis. We are not in the middle of an academic crisis.

JS: Be gentle with your children and yourself. Stressed adults cannot teach stressed kids. When things get frustrating, walk away. As parents, we are the heart of our family. We set the tone—we’re the family thermostat, if you will. Our kids look to us for safety, security, and love. No one knows how things are going to play out during these uncertain times. As parents, it is our job to cultivate beauty where we can and provide a calm, stable home. A haven. But make no mistake, in the coming months, there will be bickering. Eye rolling. Opposition. Tantrums. Meltdowns. (And that’s just the parents!)

This has been the longest—checks calendar—three days, said every parent everywhere.

As we all adjust to our new normal (working from home and homeschooling), it’s okay if we are not thriving at both. It takes time.

Thanks to social media, I have seen everything from a friend who has created a virtual school in her home (with a school motto, strict schedule, and desk) to those who are like, “how do I log onto Schoology?” I’m somewhere in the middle.

I know in my gut this “Coronoa-cation” will stretch beyond the two weeks, so I’ve allowed my kids a slow ease into this new mindset. As a friend reminded me, this is a loss and adjustment for them, too.

Sure, the thought of unlimited video games (we’re not quite there yet) and late bedtimes (we are there) sounds appealing, but I know they are missing their friends, routines, teachers, and classes.

It’s okay to feel sad for them even though we know it’s for the greater good. It’s okay to be angry that the school play is probably canceled, as well as the spring concerts (which I had won front row tickets for at a school fundraiser!) and the annual amazing art show, and the pool party for fifth grade graduation. They might sound insignificant, but they create a childhood, a memory block.

I woke up this morning realizing my daughter’s IEP evaluation, pre-middle school, which we carefully orchestrated, isn’t happening. Twelfth graders won’t get to go to prom or be named valedictorian. Life is canceled.

For my kids, that means no soccer, lacrosse, Lego club, and green team. Just last week, as my other kids roller-skated around our elementary school, my son, Zeke, was giving me the rundown on what every third grader does at recess. So and so always plays soccer. These kids always go on the slides. Zeke named the friends that “run a sushi restaurant.” “I’m the manager,” he told me. And just like that…there’s no more school. No more play dates. No more playgrounds.

So what are we doing to stay sane? Well, here are a few resources I have found helpful as I navigate this new world with my four kids.

Make a Schedule That Works for You

If you want a daily schedule, make one. Zeke insisted on writing one up yesterday. (I talked him down from two hours of math.) Dismissal is from “3:33 p.m. until the next morning.” His twin, Gideon was like, “Nah. I don’t need a schedule.” Do what works best for your family. So far we’ve been doing a little bit of schoolwork in the morning and then a family hike/walk in the afternoon.

Get Outside

Right now we are able to leave our homes, so we have been taking long walks. Some favorites: Lake Roland, Double Rock Park Trail, NCR Trail (great for biking, too), hikes around Oregon Ridge Nature Center, and Cascade Falls Trail at Patapsco Valley State Park. Yesterday we ended up in Daniels, Maryland, straddling the Patapsco River.

There are some abandoned (read: haunted) buildings and a beautiful waterfall. The main lot was filled, so I ended up at a secondary lot, which in retrospect was probably not the secondary lot I was looking for. We ended up walking on train tracks for a mile or two before finding the area we were looking for. We used saw animal bones on the track, found old railroad nails, and conquered a few fears. It felt lesson-ish.

Take Advantage of Virtual Resources

The Internet is your friend. I have seen and saved countless posts, from virtual field trips to “15 Broadway Plays and Musicals You Can Watch On Stage From Home” to #OperationStoryTime, in which beloved children’s authors are reading stories and posting to Facebook, YouTube, and Instagram. And thanks to Cool Progeny—another amazing resource—I heard about Mo Willems offering a daily Lunch Doodle, in conjunction with the Kennedy Center for Performing Arts, through the end of the month.

Locally, Ashley Battersby, a math resource teacher in Baltimore County (and full-disclosure, a favorite babysitter of ours) has been posting videos of her reading math picture books, sharing a math game, or teaching math strategy on her YouTube channel. Additionally, Trevor Twist, artist and owner of Mitchell School of Fine Arts in Mt. Washington’s Coppermine Fieldhouse, is offering his youth art classes via virtual Zoom meetings for the time being.

Also, local libraries are offering digital options such as e-books for kids, movies, and e-magazines. (If you don’t have a library card you can sign up for an e-card in Baltimore County and Baltimore City.)

I have a few friends that home school and they have also been posting resources. This is one of the best ones I’ve seen. It’s literally hundreds of free educational resources including space stuff, math and reading games, SAT prep, foreign language lessons, and even Carmen Sandiego (glad to see she is still around) stories and videos.

Ask a Teacher

Our wonderful teachers have all made themselves available over our classroom app and email to answer questions and offer resources. I have also seen countless teacher friends posting that they are accessible for Facebook questions or guidance offline. It lists their area of expertise and areas they can help. (And can we just take a minute to acknowledge how amazing teachers are.)

Most importantly, be kind to yourself. We are all doing the best we can. (Completely unrelated: Are liquor stores still open?)