In Westeros, the night is dark and full of terror. In Baltimore, the night is full of dark ales and terrifyingly good drink specials. Game of Thrones, the HBO show about frowning and dragons, begins its final season on April 14 and establishments around the city are ready for the premiere. Here are the best places to go before your watch has ended.

Baltimore Improv Group: Improv gets a bad wrap. Some might think of it as a bunch of goobers repeatedly shouting bawdy innuendos, but when done by skilled performers, it is uproariously hilarious. For the next six Thursdays, the Baltimore Improv Group at the BIG theater will host a Game of Thrones-inspired variety show. Come watch Baltimore’s funniest turn incest into high comedy. 1727 N. Charles St.

Camden Yards: On May 21, the Baltimore Orioles will force the Minnesota Twins to bend the knee during Game of Thrones night. Ticket packages are available and include access to an exclusive pregame party and a Game of Thrones bobblehead. Adding to the cross-promotional synergy, the only thing colder than a White Walker is Chris Davis’ bat. 333 W. Camden St. 410-685-9800

The Charles: Spring may have sprung, but winter is undoubtedly coming to The Charles. Starting on April 14, this Federal Hill watering hole will host watch parties on its massive screens throughout the GoT season, celebrating the show’s return with a bevy of drink specials and bar snacks. 1110 S. Charles St. 410-727-2333

The Charmery: We’re just putting this out there, but our favorite raft of angsty Westerosi characters would probably be a lot more laid back if they had ice cream—especially if they could gather around this Hampden creamery’s “Game of Cones” pints. Pledge your allegiance to “House Lannister” (a pinot noir caramel base flecked with golden white chocolate bits), “House Targaryen” (a dragonfruit base with Atomic Fireball swirl), or “House Stark” (a wintergreen and spearmint base with peppermint chips). The pints will be available for pre-order only and can be picked up from The Charmery’s ice cream factory inside Union Collective from April 13-21. 1700 W. 41st St.

Donut Stop Believin’: On April 20, chef Doug Wetzel’s donut pop-up will return to the 32nd Street Farmers Market serving the “You Know Nothing Jon Sno-nut.” The chocolate cake doughnut, topped with vanilla sea salt glaze and charcoal Oreo frosting, is the kind of outside-the-box—or, more fittingly, beyond-the-wall—thinking that has made Wetzel one of Baltimore’s most acclaimed chefs. 400 E. 32nd St.

Live! Casino & Hotel: Here is your chance to prove that you drink and you know things. At this Game of Thrones trivia brunch on premiere day, channel your inner Tyrion Lannister for the chance at winning a seven-day trip to Croatia and visiting the real life King’s Landing. There will also be a special menu of GoT-inspired dishes including Littlefinger-ling potatoes, Wolfswood free-range turkey, Robert’s Rebellion bacon, and Ramsay’s crispy breakfast taters. Tickets are $50 in advance and $60 at the door. 7002 Arundel Mills Circle.

Order & Chaos: No, “Order & Chaos” is not the name of the next entry in the original book series that you will never read. Rather, this South Baltimore coffee shop is offering a cornucopia of Game of Thrones’ eats and drinks. Stop by for the “Valar Morghulis” mocha (espresso, mocha syrup, and milk, topped with dragon art) and try not to think about the fact that all men must die. There will also be fittingly named cupcake flavors including the red velvet “Dragon Egg,” vanilla “Winter is Coming”, and chocolate “Dragon” with buttercream icing. 1410 Key Highway. 410-244-1111

The Outpost American Tavern: Here’s your chance to sit on the Iron Throne. Well, sort of. This Federal Hill restaurant will be outfitted with Game of Thrones decor—such as the sigils of major houses that are vying for the throne—and will serve a specialty brunch menu of GoT grub on April 14. 1032 Riverside Ave. 443-388-9113

EAT

April 7: Baltimore Farmers’ Market & Bazaar

Jones Fall Expressway, Holliday & Saratoga St. 7 a.m.- 12 p.m. Free

Grab your sun hat and celebrate the return of this 42-year-old Sunday morning ritual with tons of food, games, and a special performance by the BSO OrchKids. Start your day with a stroll beneath the Jones Fall Expressway to sample eats from more than 44 local vendors including Blacksauce Kitchen, Le Monade, and Sporty Dog Creations and stock up on fresh produce from area farms.

DRINK

April 7: Game of Thrones Trivia

El Bufalo Tequila Bar & Kitchen, 2921 O’Donnell St. 1-4 p.m. Free.

Winter may be over, but it’s never too late to flex your Game of Thrones obsession with fellow die-hard fans. Spend your Sunday Funday answering trivia questions about the hit HBO show in preparation for the premiere of its final season on April 14, with plenty of beer buckets and Smirnoff bombs to keep you on your game. Whether you’re a party of two or a group of 8, put your brain power to the test for the chance to win El Bufalo gift cards, free shots, and all the glory.

SEE

April 5: Out of Order

Maryland Art Place, 218 W. Saratoga St. 7-10 p.m. $40-45.

Join Maryland Art Place in celebrating its 22nd annual springtime auction-party that gives regional artists—from students to established professionals—the opportunity to display their work. Take in the floor-to-ceiling display of artworks, and, in between bidding on your favorite pieces, bop along to music by DJ Ridiculous, snap pictures with drag queens Bambi Galore and Whimsy Thrift, and experience a psychic reading by Clairvoyant Lady.

HEAR

April 6: Saturday Morning Tunes

WTMD, 1 Olympic Pl., Towson. 9-11 a.m. Free-$40.

There’s no denying that reggae music is good for the soul, and this weekend, it’ll be good for your ears, too. This Saturday, WTMD will be hosting its first-ever, sensory-friendly Saturday Morning Tunes for families with autistic children. Veteran reggae star Scotty P. of Jah Works will perform acoustic versions of his songs, while little ones can enjoy snacks from Eddie’s of Roland Park, bike rides provided by Race Pace Bicycles, and plenty of dancing.

DO

April 6: Festival for the Animals

Druid Hill Park, 900 Druid Park Lake Dr. 10 a.m.-2 p.m. Free-$40.

Every pet owner believes that their furry friend deserves the world, and that sentiment is at the heart of this annual festival that supports the Maryland SPCA and its animal rescue, shelter, and aid programs. With your pup in tow, spend the afternoon in Druid Hill Park participating in a walk-a-thon as well as fun-filled contests that benefit this com-paw-ssionate cause.

File This Under: Trades That Will Never Happen
Look, if we had our druthers, Manny Machado would stay an Oriole for life. But if the Orioles truly can’t afford to sign him—or, if they do sign him, it’ll completely break bank—they should consider trading him for a bunch of high quality prospects. A team like the Dodgers, who have a loaded farm system, would be ideal. 

You know where the Orioles should definitely, never, under no circumstances trade him? To the freaking Boston Red Sox. And yet, that is exactly a trade that Buster Olney—who used to write for The Sun, I might add—suggested on SportsCenter. Yes, it’s true. The Red Sox are in need of a third baseman. It’s also true that the Sox are in contention and the Orioles . . . less so. (Although, after that four-game sweep of the Rangers, we are feeling ourselves.) 

But you don’t trade one of the best players in baseball to a division rival? And especially not the Red Sox, with whom Machado has a fair amount of (justifiable) bad blood. No, nope, never, nada. And don’t you get any bright ideas, either, Yankees.

Speaking of Manny . . .

You gotta love this guy. As you might know, due to what has thus far been subpar offensive season, Machado was not an All Star this season. A one-year glitch, we’re sure. But he did attend the All-Star Game to cheer on his boy Jonathan Schoop and other friends in the game. His assessment: “Yeah, it’s a little boring to watch it…I don’t know how people go out there an watch games. Now I know why sometimes people don’t come to games.” You’re not supposed to say that out loud, dude.

Phelps vs. Shark: It is On!
The moment we’ve all been waiting for—Phelpnado, you might call it—“starts” this Sunday, July 23 on the Discovery Channel. We put “starts” in quotes, because that’s their word, not ours. Not sure how long you can stretch out a race between a swimmer and a fish, but I guess we’re about to find out. Meanwhile, we’ve done a little research. The Great White Shark can go up to 35 miles per hour. Phelps, at his fastest, can go only 6 miles per hour. Umm, that seems bad for Phelps. 

From what we’ve learned, Phelps was equipped with a special shark-like fin to make his time faster. Okay, that should do the trick. Anyway, we’re not totally sure if Phelps and the shark are actually swimming side-by-side or if they’re in two separate bodies of water (which would be laaaaame). The good news? We saw Phelps on Fallon last night and he looked healthy and happy and definitely had all his limbs, so no matter what happened, Phelps emerged intact. Tune in.

We’re Loving These New Under Armour Commercials
Homegrown sports apparel behemoth Under Armour has launched a new ad campaign targeting women called “Unlike Any,” starring ballerina Misty Copeland, stuntwoman Jessie Graff, and world champion sprinter Natasha Hastings, among others, and featuring poems recited by their authors.   

The first one, “For Misty” features Copeland in a stark, concrete arena, warming up and slowly dancing, as poet Saul Williams entrancingly reads an accompanying poem. Notably, there is no music.   

The second one, “For Natasha” features poet Dominique Christina as Hastings begins running alone on a sandy stretch of land; “For Jessie” is set to a poem written by Kojey Radical, and shows Graff doing a lot of “Do Not Try This At Home” stuff like hanging from rafters and flipping through the air.
All the commercials emphasize determination, solitude, grace, and female power. We approve.

Apparently We’re Not the Only Ones Geeked About Game of Thrones.

The Ravens and the Orioles are, too. Both teams posted a Westeros-themed video to their social media accounts in anticipation of last Sunday’s Game of Thrones premiere. In the Orioles case, they offered a Game of Thrones ticket package that included a pre-game bullpen party, a photo op with the iron throne (shouldn’t that be Iron Man Throne?), and tee-shirt featuring the Watcher of the Wall. John Stark? Hell no, this is Birdland. Adam Jones!

The Ravens posted the fun video featured below.