Our monthly news-and-events column “The Chatter” has been redesigned and rechristened “You Are Here” with bolder photos but the same local character and charm. For the first installment, senior editor Ron Cassie visited the Shot Tower, an arm-wrestling competition, and the annual Nun Run.

A Tall Tale

East Fayette Street
September 4, 2016

“Two towns formed to make Baltimore,” guide Marsha Wight Wise says as Baltimore Heritage’s tour of Jonestown—one of those towns—gets underway at the Baltimore Farmers’ Market. “Mr. David Jones, a Quaker, was the first settler in 1661 and built a mill. In 1745, Jonestown merged with Baltimore Town—then just a village near the Inner Harbor. But since it was named after Lord Baltimore and because royalty always gets its way,” Wise adds, “the Baltimore name won out.”

The tour, highlighting Jonestown’s often overlooked treasures, passes several of the city’s prominent examples of cast-iron-fronted buildings, including an old food emporium that’s been readapted into a 7-Eleven. It also visits St. Vincent de Paul, celebrating its 175th anniversary, and Zion Lutheran Church, whose congregation predates the Revolutionary War. The highlight, however, is the trip inside the iconic Shot Tower here—a Baltimore landmark since 1828. In fact, the 215-foot edifice and its estimated 1.1 million bricks remained the tallest structure in the U.S. for almost two decades.

Shot was made by pouring molten lead through a colander and dropping it straight down the open-air shaft. As the droplets fell, gravity spun the lead into spheres before they splashed into a water-filled barrel, where they cooled and solidified. Musket balls from the tower were likely used by Union soldiers during the Civil War, and were sold to local hunters until 1892 when new methods and the price of lead made the operation obsolete. Forty years ago, the tower—in one of the city’s first acts of preservation—opened to the public.

“The world’s only remaining working shot tower is in Riga, Latvia,” says Matt Hood, program assistant with Carroll Museums, which oversees Baltimore’s tower. “I don’t speak Russian, or Latvian, but basically what they told me was, ‘Shot still flies in the Third World.’ That, and they get the occasional call from a Saudi prince who wants to go hunting in Pakistan and doesn’t mind paying a 3,000-percent markup.”

---

Sisters in Arms

York Road
September 3, 2016

Beyond the Ferris wheel and funnel cake, there’s a compelling array of events on the outskirts of the Maryland State Fair’s midway. For example, a newborn calf is gently pulled from its mother’s womb at the appropriately named Cow Palace birthing center this afternoon. (“I’m not licking my baby,” a wary pregnant woman quips as the calf falls to the ground and its mother begins the natural cleaning process.) There’s also a variety of country-strong contests, including chain saw carving, mechanical bull riding—and the annual state arm-wrestling championships.

A variation of a game with hard to discern roots (some say Native-American; others say ancient Greece), “modern” arm wrestling gained popularity in barrooms before becoming a popular televised sport in the ’70s and ’80s. In fact, Steve Simons, the organizer of today’s tournament, quit his investment banking job to launch a professional circuit in the sport’s early years. “I’ve known a few of these guys for 30 years,” Simons says, gesturing toward the still buff, 63-year-old J.R. Hostler, a former horse trainer, who wins the men’s light-heavyweight division.

In the women’s open division, a pair of blond, solidly built sisters from Bel Air—Jessica Coleman, 33, and Christy Coleman, 32—meet for the second year in the finals. “I usually don’t tell people my secret, but I’ve been an auto mechanic for 13 years,” says Jessica, who outmuscles her younger sis. “Lifting heavy things, turning wrenches—that’s every day.” Christy, she adds with a smile, does body repair.

The sibling rivalry between the “Irish twins,” as the women describe themselves, makes for an entertaining match, but not Simons’ favorite pairing ever.

“The all-time dream finals was a Hell’s Angel versus a Methodist minister—our first year in the Deep South after taking the sport out of California,” recalls Simons. “The preacher won, too.”

---

Godspeed

North Charles Street
September 10, 2016

“Let’s do it again,” shouts fitness instructor Roxana Feenster, as ’80s new wave blares from the steps of the Cathedral of Mary Our Queen. She’s warming up 800 joggers and power walkers—including a goodly number of priests, seminarians, and Catholic sisters in full habit and running shoes—for this morning’s 5K and 1-mile fun walk.

“Easy to start,” Feenster shouts again. ‘Easy, easy. Four . . . three . . . two . . . one.”

The Oriole Bird and Archbishop William Lori are also on hand, pumping up participants for the third annual Nun Run, which supports Catonsville’s Little Sisters of the Poor and St. Martin’s Home, where the women serve seniors with limited resources.

Founded in Baltimore in 1869, Little Sisters—in the midst of a $25 million overhaul of St. Martin’s—provides 24/7 care, including skilled nursing. While the nuns haven’t specifically trained for the run, they all do quite a bit of walking on the campus grounds as part of their daily duties, Sister Lawrence Mary assures. And the long-sleeve habits are not as hot as they appear, she adds. “They’re white; they reflect the sun. And we’re used to them, of course.”

After completing her 1-mile power walk, Sister Cecilia Mary grabs a bottle of water and happily collapses into a chair beneath a shade tree. “This is the first time I’ve been able to do this,” she smiles. “I had a knee replacement last year.” She politely declines to give her age when asked—“Oh, we’re ageless,” she smiles—but mentions she recently celebrated 50 years with her order after growing up in Detroit.

“I’m a big baseball fan,” she adds, needling another participant wearing a bright orange O’s T-shirt. “You do know that the Tigers beat the Orioles last night, right?”

The end of the summer is always a bit bittersweet for Marylanders. Though it’s tough to wave goodbye to warm weather, beach trips, and snowball season, the upside to the end of August is the return of the Maryland State Fair. The 140-year-old tradition celebrates its deep-rooted history while also adding plenty of new attractions to freshen things up each year. Aside from enjoying cotton candy and the colorful rides on the Midway, here are a few new things to eat, see, and do at this year’s end-of-summer soiree, running from August 23 to September 3.

EAT

Crabby Patty
This colossal sandwich combines the best things about Maryland and state fairs—crabs and fried foods—into one outrageously delicious bite. A jumbo lump crab cake, topped with an entire deep-fried soft shell crab, is finished with lettuce and tomato and packed between two toasty hamburger buns. Find this Food Network-reviewed creation in the Maryland Foods Pavilion.

The Dairy Bar
In addition to seven recurring flavors from Hershey’s, this ice cream stand will feature a specialty flavor from a different Maryland creamery each day. This weekend, cool off with a scoop of South Mountain Creamery’s “Snallygaster” flavor, which combines rich peanut butter ice cream with peanut butter cups and caramel ribbons.

Deep Fried Delights
Head to the Midway to indulge in cravings only state fair fare can satisfy. Dig into deep-fried Oreo cookies and candy bars, and if you’re brave enough, you can even try deep-fried insects—they’re crunchy, savory, and, apparently, not as bad as they sound.

SEE

Smash Mouth
During opening weekend on Saturday, August 25, see a live performance from early-2000’s rock band Smash Mouth—which churned out anthems like “All Star,” “Walkin’ on the Sun,” and a hit rendition of The Monkees’ classic “I’m a Believer.” Get ready to rock out to with energetic group, sing along to your favorites, and, probably, have some serious Shrek flashbacks.

Live Thoroughbred Horse Racing
Experience the power of these majestic animals as they thunder down the Timonium Race Track inside the Maryland State Fairgrounds on Friday, August 24. Root for your favorite horse or just enjoy the show with a classic racetrack snack like popcorn or hot dogs.

Glass Blowing Demonstration
Stop by the Mobile Glass Studio space any day from 2-8 p.m. for interactive demonstrations that delve into the science and art of glass blowing. Watch glass artist Ryan Gothrup create vases, bowls, animal figurines, and even functional spray guns and binoculars as he walks spectators through the mesmerizing process.

Celebrity Milkshake Contest
Watch the weekend anchors at Baltimore’s ABC affiliate station, NFL alumni—including former Baltimore Raven Qadry Ismail—and a local dairy farm family face off in this intense milkshake-making competition. Cheer for your favorites and watch a panel of judges taste these creamy creations and declare one group the first-place milkshake medalists.

DO

Charm City Helicopter Rides
Get a new perspective on this 140-year-old festival—literally. Take to the skies for an unforgettable five minutes to see the bucolic fairgrounds, the bustling I-83 Baltimore County corridor, and the striking Martin Marietta Quarry from a bird’s-eye view.

Lego Interactive Display
Don’t miss one of this year’s most impressive new exhibits: a three-section, walk-through structure made entirely from Lego blocks. Explore any or all of its three themes—Baltimore City culture, state fair traditions, and the ocean—and marvel at this innovative architectural display.

Classic and Muscle Cars Show
Peruse this spectacular exhibit of rare cars under the stars at this evening event. Starting Sunday, August 26, at 6 p.m., learn about antique cars’ unique histories, see today’s most impressive modern vehicles, and chat with other car enthusiasts about your favorites of the bunch.

Let’s be honest—as much as we want to work toward our bikini bodies this season, summer is meant for eating. Of course, lots of that eating will take place at home (crab feast anyone?), but it’s time to get out of your kitchen and give your Weber a rest with the help of these food-driven festivals across the state.

Global Gourmands

MARYLAND LATINO FESTIVAL
8/5-6: Maryland State Fairgrounds, 2200 York Road, Timonium. 11 a.m.-11 p.m. $30. Dig into the spicy flavors of Latin cuisine with live music and dancing to boot.

MUSLIM FOOD FESTIVAL
8/12: Islamic Society of Baltimore, 6631 Johnnycake Road, Windsor Mill. Noon-10 p.m. $5-10. Indulge in roasted lamb, curries, falafel, and homemade fruit pops at the fifth annual fete. 

FEAST OF ST. GABRIELE
8/19-20: Little Italy. Sat. 12-8 p.m., Sun. 11 a.m.-7 p.m. Prepare to carbo-load (and cannoli overload) with Italian classics and vats of vino during this beloved Little Italy street festival. 

AUGUSTOBERFEST
8/26-27: 14 N. Potomac St., Hagerstown. Sat. 11:30 a.m.-10 p.m., Sun. 11:30 a.m.-6 p.m. $5. Head to the hills to celebrate German heritage and culture with steins of bier, brats, and pretzels to support scholarships for exchange students.

Local Pride (& Produce!)

MARYLAND STATE BARBECUE BASH
8/11-12: Bond & Thomas Sts., Bel Air. Fri. 4-10 p.m., Sat. 12-10 p.m. Free. More than 50 BBQ masters compete for the state championship title (and a spot at the world finals in Tennessee).

PEACH FESTIVAL
8/12-13: Weber’s Farm, 2526 Proctor Lane, Parkville. 9 a.m.-7 p.m. Free. Bite into just-ripe peaches and take home baked goods during this county festival.

HEIRLOOM TOMATO FESTIVAL
8/19: Carroll County Ag Center, 706 Agricultural Center Dr., Westminster. 8 a.m.-1 p.m. Free. Celebrate the juicy goodness that is the end-of-summer tomato with tastings and seed exchanges during this summer tradition. 

NATIONAL HARD CRAB DERBY
8/22-23: Somers Cove Marina, 715 Broadway, Crisfield. Thu. 6-10 p.m., Fri. 9 a.m.-10 p.m., Sat. 7:30 a.m.-10 p.m., Sun. 8 a.m.-4 p.m. & 7-9 p.m. Free-$17. The 70th annual crab derby includes piles of piping-hot steamed crabs, a parade, a boat-docking contest, and fireworks.

Renowned Restaurants

BALTIMORE COUNTY RESTAURANT WEEK
8/4-19: Locations & times vary. $15-35. For two weeks, dine out with discounted lunches and dinners at the county’s top eateries—places like Linwoods, Ruth’s Chris, and The Milton Inn.

BEST OF BALTIMORE PARTY
8/17: Hippodrome Theater at the France-Merrick Performing Arts Center, 12 N. Eutaw St. 5:30-11 p.m. $90-150. Celebrate Baltimore’s 110th anniversary and feast on dozens of eats from the city’s “Best Restaurants.”

Union’s Fifth Birthday Celebration
Aug. 5. Union Craft Brewing, 1700 Union Ave., Ste. D. 6 p.m.-12 a.m. $30-60. 410-467-0290. We can’t believe it’s been five years since we started drinking Union Craft beer. Within a few sips, we fell head over heels for its Duckpin pale ale and, shortly thereafter, we became lifetime regulars at its communal taproom in Woodberry. From there on out, whenever we saw those colorful, cold cans—be it the simple blue Anthem, the Johnny Depp-bedecked Rye Baby, or the mini-golf scene on the sour gose Old Pro—we knew what we were ordering. Head to the place that started it all to celebrate the brewery’s half-decade in business and its bright future. The founders will pour a bevy of new, classic, rare, and cask drafts until midnight, as local food favorites Gypsy Queen, Ekiben, and The Local Oyster will be on hand to help soak up the suds. Biggest of all, beloved indie band Big In Japan will be in tow, performing live for the first time in 10 years.

---

White Marlin Open
Aug.7-11. Harbour Island Marina, 419 14th St. #66, Ocean City. 4-9:15 p.m. Free. 410-289-2800. Whether you’re a Lefty Kreh-accredited fisherman or a laid-back, beach-combing spectator, Ocean City is the place to be for this one weekend of the summer. During the world’s largest billfish tournament, throw some line for those long-nosed swimmers, pop in to watch the daily heavyweight weigh-ins, or simply stroll the docks to ogle at all the massive boats. It’s one of the beach’s biggest attractions, drawing thousands of visitors into town and more than $15 million to the local economy.

---

Mystery Science Theater 3000
Aug. 9. Modell Performing Arts Center at the Lyric, 140 W. Mount Royal Ave. 8 p.m. $36-46. 410-900-1150. Pre-millennials fondly remember this late ’80s television show that followed a man and his robot friends through the terrible task of watching (and wryly narrating) the worst movies ever made. In the era of remakes, the series is now back with a new cast of characters on Netflix and, this month, at the Lyric. See for yourself if it stands the test of time.

---

Lady Antebellum
Aug. 13. Merriweather Post Pavilion, 10475 Little Patuxent Pkwy., Columbia. 6 p.m. $56.75-199. 410-715-5550. Summer is the season for country music. With your windows down, your jean shorts on, and an ice-cold beer can just waiting to be cracked, there’s no better time to listen to its easy breezy sound. In the middle of the month, boot-scoot down to Columbia for a night of southern music starring this chart-topping trio known for hits like “Bartender” and “Need You Now,” as well as rising songstress Kelsea Ballerini and Cali-infused heartbreaker Brett Young.

---

Santana
Aug. 15. Merriweather Post Pavilion, 10475 Little Patuxent Pkwy., Columbia. 6:30 p.m. $55.50-295. 410-715-5550. For one night only, this legendary guitarist brings his Latin-infused blues-rock to the Merriweather woods for a performance of worldly number one hits, like “Maria Maria” and “Smooth.”

---

From Digital to Damask
Aug. 16-Feb. 18. The Baltimore Museum of Art, 10 Art Museum Dr. Wed.-Sun. 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Free. 443-573-1700. Maryland artist and MICA professor Annet Couwenberg uses science, technology, and history to weave mesmerizing textiles inspired by two seemingly disparate subjects—ancient aquatic fossils and the traditional costumes of her homeland, the Netherlands—though both are riddled with patterns and texture. Get lost in the lines and folds of these ethereal artworks, including one inspired by the BMA’s own Portrait of a Young Woman by Frans Hals.

---

Hot August Music Festival
Aug. 19. Oregon Ridge Park, 13401 Beaver Dam Road, Cockeysville. 11 a.m.-10 p.m. $66-189. 877-321-3378. For the 25th year, Baltimore County’s biggest music festival takes over the hills of Oregon Ridge Park with more than 10 musical acts. Soak up the sounds of eclectic jam bands like Lettuce and Electric Love Machine, and Americana all-stars like headliners Old Crow Medicine Show and the Infamous Stringdusters.

---

Free to Breathe Yoga Challenge
Aug. 20. The Maryland Zoo in Baltimore, 1 Safari Pl. 7 a.m.-4 p.m. Fundraising required. 608-833-7905. For the second year, the Maryland Zoo will be taken over not by sneakers and strollers but leggings and yoga mats. Last year, the Free to Breathe Yoga Challenge helped raise more than $70,000 for increasing the survival rate of lung cancer, which is the leading cancer killer in the U.S. This year, they hope to double that figure. With deep breaths and restorative exhales, this yoga retreat will feature eight hour-long sessions with some of the city’s best instructors, as well as a walk-in wellness marketplace for fitness demos and healthy food and drink. Whether you downward dog as an individual or reverse warrior with an entire team, open your lungs and support a good cause. 

---

Maryland State Fair
Aug. 24-Sept. 4. Maryland State Fairgrounds, 2200 York Road, Timonium. Times vary. $3-8. 410-252-0200. Whether you’re 8 or 88, this quintessential summer ritual will make you feel young at heart, with amusement rides, carnival games, live animals, fried fair food, and big-name blowout concerts, this year by hard-rock quartet Halestorm and Disney star turned pop singer Sabrina Carpenter.

---

Maryland Renaissance Festival
Aug. 26-Oct. 22. 1821 Crownsville Road, Annapolis. Times vary. Free-$25. 410-266-7304. Hear ye, hear ye! For nine straight weekends, the country’s second largest renaissance festival will post up in the Anne Arundel County countryside for all the jousting, flower crowns, turkey legs, and mead-fueled merriment your heart could desire.

Five things to eat, drink, see, hear, and do with your Charm City weekend.

 EAT

July 29: Fort McHenry Crab Feast

Fort McHenry, 2400 E. Fort Ave. 4-8 p.m. $45-75.

With summer almost halfway over, be sure to get BBQ fix this weekend with cookout fare, local brews, and Chesapeake Bay crabs at the fourth annual, all-you-can-eat feast. Located on the historic grounds and breathtaking waterfront of Fort McHenry, experience Maryland at its finest with live bluegrass tunes by the Eastport Oyster Boys, kids’ activities, and neighborhood vendors from Locust Point. Proceeds benefit education and youth employment at this hallowed national monument.

 DRINK

July 29: BARCS & Brews

Blue Pit BBQ & Whiskey Bar, 1601 Union Ave. 4-8 p.m. Free. 

We don’t know about you, but our favorite drinking buddy just happens to have four legs. This Saturday, beat the heat (though luckily it’s going to be a cool low-80s compared to last weekends high-90s) with cold brewskis, grilled meats, and happy-hour specials for you and your pooch on the back patio, all while helping homeless cats and dogs. With raffles and giveaways, the evening will support the Baltimore Animal Rescue and Care Shelter (BARCS) in its mission of rescuing thousands of animals each year.  

 SEE

July 29-30 & Aug. 4-6: Fluid Movement

July 29-30: Druid Hill Park, 800 Wyman Park Dr. 5 & 7 p.m. Aug. 4-6: Patterson Park, 148 S. Linwood Ave. Fri. 9 p.m., Sat. 7 & 9 p.m., Sun. 5 & 7 p.m. $10. 

One of the city’s most weirdly wonderful summer events is the Fluid Movement water ballet. This summer, the avant-garde group delves into the 16th-century Renaissance with “Sharkspeare,” where the aquatic ballerinas re-imagine Shakespearean classics such as Hamlet, Macbeth, The Tempest, and A Midsummer Night’s Dream. Expect loads of glitter and good times as the local troupe fuses Old English prose with Baltimore swimming pools.

 HEAR

July 29: Fleet Foxes with Animal Collective

Merriweather Post Pavilion, 10475 Little Patuxent Pkwy., Columbia. 6-11 p.m. $41-56.

When we heard about Fleet Foxes’ new album—their first in some six solid years—we knew what would be on our Spotify all summer long. The indie Seattle group delivered with a wide, lush, folk-driven feat, and a few songs that are almost too pretty to listen to (“Third of May/Odaigahara”). And then when we found out about their mid-summer concert at Merriweather, we didn’t think things could get better until we heard they were performing with Baltimore’s very own Animal Collective. The experimental indie-pop stars will be performing their latest as well, The Painters, full of Day-Glo trips and the rattling rhythms we’ve come to know and love. 

 DO

July 29: Trifecta Food Truck Festival

Maryland State Fairgrounds, 2200 York Road, Timonium. 11 a.m. Free-$60. 

The area’s best food trucks will all converge on the Maryland State Fairgrounds this Saturday for the second annual Trifecta Food Truck Festival. There’s a stellar lineup of mobile kitchens where guests can enjoy gyros from Greek on the Street, pulled pork sandwiches from The Smoking Swine, slices from Dizzy Cow Pizzeria, tacos from Mexican on the Run, cupcakes from Icedgems Baking, and burgers from Kooper’s Chowhound, and shucks from The Local Oyster. To wash in all down, there will be craft beer from Dogfish Head and Evolution Brewing. But that’s not the only thing on the menu, as the event will feature a pie-eating contest, dunk tanks, moon bounces, a mechanical bull, and music from local acts like the All Mighty Senators and Cris Jacobs.

9/10: SAUSAGE FESTIVAL
Heavy Seas Beer, 4615 Hollins Ferry Road, Halethorpe. Celebrate Oktoberfest early with all-you-can-taste Heavy Seas beer, German sausages, and live music from local band Bond & Bentley.

9/17: CLASSICS & CRABS
Maryland Theater, 21 S. Potomac St., Hagerstown. Experience the best Maryland has to offer: Crabs, Flying Dog beer, and musical performances from The Maryland Symphony Orchestra.

9/17: ANNAPOLIS CRAFT BEER & MUSIC FESTIVAL
Navy-Marine Corps Memorial Stadium, 550 Taylor Ave., Annapolis. Spend the day filling (and refilling) your glass with unlimited tastings from 50 local breweries, music, food, and seminars in the state’s capital.

9/17-18: MARYLAND WINE FESTIVAL
Carroll County Farm Museum, 500 S. Center St., Westminster. 410-386-3880. At this 33rd festival, sample wines from over 30 Maryland wineries.

9/24: MARYLAND MICROBREWERY FESTIVAL
Union Mills Homestead, 3311 Littlestown Pike, Westminster. At this national historic landmark, tip back micro and craft beers, listen to live music, and attend presentations on brewing.

9/24-25: OKTOBERFEST
Maryland State Fairgrounds, 2200 York Road, Lutherville-Timonium. Break out the lederhosen for the Oktoberfest barrel parade, German food, music, and of course, beer.

Along with the Free State, Old Line State, and Land of Pleasant Living, Maryland is also nicknamed America in Miniature, in reference to our medley of history, landmarks, and people. Celebrate that diversity with these six cultural festivals.

PHILIPPINE FIESTA
6/4: Maryland State Fairgrounds, 2200 York Rd., Timonium. 10 a.m.-10 p.m. $3. 443-812-3241. This 34-year-old festival is full of Filipino activities, including cultural crafts, live music, and festive games at the state fairgrounds.

MARYLAND TRADITIONS FOLKLIFE FESTIVAL
6/4: Creative Alliance, 3134 Eastern Ave. 12-8 p.m. Free. 410-276-1651. Experience Baltimore Club music, Nepalese food, and Norwegian painting at this celebration of cultures from around the world.

FEAST OF ST. ANTHONY ITALIAN FESTIVAL
6/4-5: Little Italy, S. Exeter & Stiles Sts. Sat. 12-8 p.m. & Sun. 11-7 p.m. $1. Little Italy celebrates its roots with one big weekend of Italian food and wine, with a Sunday parade.

ST. NICHOLAS GREEK FOLK FESTIVAL
6/9-12: Greektown Square, 701 S. Ponca St. Times vary. Free. 410-633-5020. Dive into the culture of the Aegean Sea with four days of baklava, Mythos beer, and regional dance troupes in Southeast Baltimore.

LATINOFEST
6/25-26: Patterson Park, Eastern Ave. & S. Linwood Ave. Sat. 12-10 p.m., Sun. 12-9 p.m. Free-$9. 410-563-3160. For the 36th year, this giant outdoor celebration takes over Patterson Park with Latino food, music, and art.

LITHUANIAN FOLK DANCE FESTIVAL
6/30-7/3: Royal Farms Arena, 201 W. Baltimore St. Times vary. $10-92. 410-347-2020. Nearly 2,000 dancers gather for a weekend of galas, live music, poetry readings, and traditional dances from Eastern Europe.

The new year is all about trying new things, making resolutions, and, most importantly, sticking to them. This January, challenge yourself to learn something new with one of these eight events.

Taste the City

JAN. 10: RA SUSHI LESSON
RA Sushi Bar Restaurant, 1390 Lancaster St. 2 p.m. $32-60. 410-522-3200. Learn the traditions of sushi, its cultural significance, and, of course, how to roll your own at RA.

JAN. 28: WINE & CANVAS
Baltimore Museum of Industry, 1415 Key Hwy. 6:30-9:30 p.m. $40. 410-727-4808. Enjoy a glass of wine while you learn to paint a Ravens-themed masterpiece.

Get Moving

JAN. 1: NEW YEAR’S DAY RESOLUTION RUN
Patterson Park, 2638 E. Baltimore St. 2-6 p.m. $15-30. 410-308-1870. Start the year off right with a 5K through Patterson Park, finished off with a hearty chili dinner.

JAN. 5-26: GROUP TANGO CLASSES
Towson Dance Studio, 9486 Deereco Rd., Towson. Tues. 7 p.m. $65-70. 410-828-6116. Dance your January nights away with tango lessons in Towson.

See Something New

JAN. 20-MAR. 5: RAOUL MIDDLEMAN
C. Grimaldis Gallery, 523 N. Charles St. Tues.-Sat. 10 a.m.-5:30 p.m. Free. 410-539-1080. Don’t miss prints and watercolors by this prolific contemporary American painter and MICA professor whose works have been shown at the Met, National Gallery, and BMA.

JAN. 21: MAKE NIGHT: INSCRIBING THE SELF, ISLAMIC BOOKBINDING
The Walters Art Museum, 600 N. Charles St. 6-9 p.m. $25-35. 410-547-9000. Learn about the history of Islamic bookbinding and try it for yourself with help from bookmaker Kelly Laughlin.

Conquer Your Fear

JAN. 23: COMEDY TONIGHT!
Everyman Theatre, 315 W. Fayette St. 10 a.m. $100. 443-615-7055. Whatever your experience level, head to the local theater and partake in this comedy acting workshop with noted playwright Michael Hollinger.

JAN. 30-31: REPTICON
Maryland State Fairgrounds, 2200 York Rd., Lutherville-Timonium. Sat. 10 a.m.-5 p.m., Sun. 10 a.m.-4 p.m. $5-12. 863-268-8573. Forgo your fear of scaly, snaky things at this up-close-and-personal exhibition featuring hundreds of reptiles, exotic animals, vendors, activities, and informational seminars.

With the holiday season fast approaching, there’s no better way to get in the spirit than to start celebrating early. Here are some of the best November events to get you in a festive mood.

WINTERFEST OF LIGHTS
11/19-1/3: Northside Park, Ocean City. Head downy ocean for a dazzling holiday light display with hot chocolate and pictures with Santa.

CIRQUE DREAMS: HOLIDAZE
11/20-21: Modell Performing Arts Center at the Lyric. Christmas ornaments come to life in this variety show full of mind-bending stunts, Broadway tunes, and holiday fun.

MARYLAND CHRISTMAS SHOW
11/20-22, 27-29: Frederick County Fairgrounds, Frederick. Browse gifts by local artisans, craftsmen, and merchants with a big-top tent holiday show.

A TUNA CHRISTMAS
11/20-12/20: Spotlighters Theatre. Follow local news reporters in this Christmas story set in small-town Tuna, TX.

A CARROLL’S CHRISTMAS
11/20-12/31: Mount Clare Museum House. Step back in time and experience a Colonial American Christmas with the Carroll family.

HOLIDAY MAKER SERIES: CANDY MAKING
11/21: Maryland Science Center. Make your own chocolate creations in this holiday-themed workshop, perfect for a homemade gift or holiday treat.

MAGICAL HOLIDAY EXPRESS
11/21-22 & 12/1-1/3: B&O Railroad Museum. lThe holidays mean all train everything at the B&O, with train rides, model train layouts, and special appearances by Santa throughout the holidays.

FESTIVAL OF TREES
11/27-29: Maryland State Fairgrounds, Timonium. This Land of Pleasant Living tradition features life-sized holiday scenes, arts and crafts, kids’ activities, and live entertainment.

FESTIVAL OF WREATHS
11/27-12/6: Carroll County Arts Council, Westminster. Deck your halls with one of 150 decorated wreaths from this annual silent auction.

HOLIDAY FESTIVAL OF TRAINS
11/27-1/24: B&O Railroad Museum, Ellicott City. Start the season with the museum’s annual celebration of toy trains.

WEINBERG WINTERFEST
11/28: Weinberg Center for the Arts, Frederick. Bring cash or canned-food donations to hear sing-alongs, see silent films, and enjoy Tuba Christmas, a four-part Christmas carol ensemble featuring 80 regional tuba and euphonium players.

The Anxious Years

February 14, 2015

Hickory Avenue

Standing next to a photo of his 15-year-old self proudly displaying a “Science Olympiad” ribbon, Adam Ruben recalls his relationship with his high-school girlfriend, “Jenny.” “Today is the 20th anniversary of the first time I touched a boob,” Ruben tells the crowd attending tonight’s “Mortified Baltimore” Doomed Valentines show at Hampden’s Gallery 788. From there, however, his story takes a scary turn.

“I can’t stop thinking about you,” Jenny wrote him before he left for camp in 1995. “I would seriously die for you.” Later, in obsessive anger, she dug her nails so hard into the back of his hands that scars remain to this day. “She was a little controlling,” deadpans Ruben, a molecular biologist, who also courageously reads the letters he wrote to Jenny from camp.

Told through old mash notes, diaries, and even one pre-teen romantic novel that doesn’t quite understand how sex works, “Mortified” is part of a national storytelling project that offers adults the opportunity to share their most embarrassing childhood and teenage writings.

There’s bad poetry, journal reflections from a Tyra Banks devotee, and letters from an earnest, confused, homosexual-denying Christian college freshman. “I call them the
Footloose years—no drinking, no smoking, no dancing,” laughs Mike Boyd, now 50. His college missives, sent to his best friend, who is in attendance, recount getting “punked out” for a Go-Go’s concert and the thrill of catching a production of Anything Goes, the musical starring Ethel Merman. “Re-reading these letters,” Boyd cracks, “I was never going to ‘pray the gay away.'”

---

Only Way

February 22, 2015

Timonium

With a rebounding economy and falling gas prices, some 20,000 outdoors-oriented vacationers are expected at the 50th Annual RV Show at the Maryland State Fairgrounds, the East Coast’s largest retail show. “My father started the business 43 years ago after our first vacation in a camper,” says Greg Merkel, owner of Leo’s Vacation Center in Gambrills. “After that, we went everywhere: Ocean City, Pennsylvania, Virginia, Delaware. The favorite was the ‘Roller Coaster Capital of the World,’ Cedar Point in Ohio.”

Along with the massive vehicles filling the fairgrounds’ exhibition halls, dozens of Mid-Atlantic campgrounds are represented—most of them familiar to Ruby Harbaugh, who bought her first recreational vehicle with her husband in 1968. Since then, she’s bought nine more, all from Charlie’s RV and Camping Center in Randallstown, where the energetic 81-year-old also works.

“I’ve got a 36-foot Itasca motorhome with an 8.1 Chevy Vortec engine, workhorse chassis, and five-speed Allison transmission,” says the petite, blue-eyed grandma. “Drove 1,088 miles in two days over the Ozark Mountains last summer. Just me behind the wheel. I’ve been to Disney World 42 times, and I’ll go this year. Don’t know where else, yet.”

“My husband died in 2009 and had been in a home for six years when I bought this last RV,” says Harbaugh, whose license plate reads, ‘ONLY WAY.’

“He told me, ‘You keep on going, Ruby. You always were a better a driver than me anyhow.'”

---

No Small Deaths

March 1, 2015
Wicomico Street

Pigtown’s Allied Binding Company, where they still bind real books, hosts tonight’s “Diorama-rama” competition—a celebration of old-school storytelling in a box—hosted by the local arts group Wonder Commons. The theme is “Notable Last Moments,” with judges including Jaime Kauffman, program director with nonprofit Art with a Heart, and Bruce Goldfarb, an expert on the Maryland Chief Medical Examiner’s Office’s renowned Nutshell Studies of Unexplained Death dioramas.

“One goal with Wonder Commons,” explains organizer Robert Marbury, author of Taxidermy Art: A Rogue’s Guide, “is to get people who are non-artists to make things.” That said, genuinely talented folks are here, like Jim Doran, who specializes in making tiny dioramas in iPod cases and kitchen spoons.

Among the entries is an homage to just-departed Leonard Nimoy, featuring an anime figurine of Star Trek’s Spock falling through strobe lights inside a parking cone to the “Final Frontier.” Best in Show goes to game developer Shawn Cook for “We Were Dead Before the Ship Even Sank,” featuring a watercolor painted boat swaying between a dozen waves, enhanced by bottom-of-the-sea LED lighting—all inside a six-inch box.

Meanwhile, the Cornell Prize, named for surrealist assemblage artist Joseph Cornell, goes to writer Zoë Nardo, for “The Wire,” which plays not off the acclaimed HBO series, but The Flying Wallendas. Her two-foot-tall cardboard frame depicts Baltimore’s harbor, its row-house neighborhoods, and a high wire strung from the iconic “Domino Sugars” sign in Locust Point to the neon Mr. Boh in Canton. An accompanying poem tells the tale of the diorama’s thrill-seeking protagonist—only her tutu and legs visible after a headfirst fall into the water:

“Halfway through she slipped and messed up the plan.

She never made it to the one-eyed man.”