McRib Hat: My friends say I have a hat for every occasion. For example, this hat tells people when the McRib is back.
8-Track Recorder: Many guys my age are unwilling to admit they have a lifetime of unfinished and dated musical projects on cassette tapes.
Antique Ouija Board: Because conversing with the spirit world is often less awkward than conversing with living people.
Ninja Turtles Hoop: Putting this basketball hoop over your wastebasket will work wonders towards keeping your office clean.
Talkboy: Expensive toys were tough to come by in a frugal home, so when you acquired one that could change your voice, you caused as much chaos as possible.
Dog Skeleton (Reproduction): I always promised my mom I would have a kid if I could responsibly take care of a pet.
Johnny Utah Jersey: [In the movie Point Break,] he was all- conference quarterback at Ohio State until a knee injury ended his promising career at the Rose Bowl.
Galilean Thermometer: I won’t pretend that I check this instrument more than my iPhone, but it’s a valuable part of any 17th-century alchemical laboratory.
Killer Rabbit Stapler: It’s the last thing paperwork sees before leaving the office. I keep it on my desk to strike fear into my employees and interns.
War on Drugs Board Game: My favorite all-time board game. It never ends and has no winners, just like the real war on drugs.
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