Hey, Hon!

We asked some past winners of Baltimore’s Best Hon for their expert tips.

Kaitlyn Pacheco - June 2019

Hey, Hon!

We asked some past winners of Baltimore’s Best Hon for their expert tips.

Kaitlyn Pacheco - June 2019


It may seem easy to don a feather boa and recite phrases like “downy ocean” in Bawlmerese, but the annual Baltimore’s Best Hon contest proves that there’s more to being a true-blue Hon than meets the eye. Ahead of this year’s Baltimore Honfest on June 8-9, we consulted past contestants Bonnie Hockstein, Megan Brockway, and Amber Nelson for tips on what it takes to become “the sequins in Charm City’s crown.”


—Illustration by Danielle Dernoga

ACCENT

Hons speak Bawlmerese, so it’s all about those Os ya nao. By the way, ya don’t hafta be from Baltimore, but ya better not be from Pittsburgh, hon.

HISTORY

Hons were working-class women from the 1940-60s who were sources of old-fashioned common sense in a complicated world. Hons held down a job, cleaned, and always looked gorgeous doin’ it. Don’t let their kindness be mistaken for weakness.

STYLE

Accessories are important—they’re a Hon’s best shot at get- ting noticed when they go out after workin’ hard all week. Hons know that true beauty is on the inside and the outside is just makeup, jewelry, animal prints, lotsa color, and spandex.


TALENT

Hons believe that God gave all of us a special talent, and it’s our job to figure out what it is and use it to make the world a better place.

Past talents from finalists include scrub- bing a fake set of marble steps while reciting Edgar Allan Poe’s “The Raven,” blowing the biggest bubble gum bub- ble, and playing “Take Me Out to the Ballgame” on a xylophone made out of Natty Boh bottles.


HAIR

The higher the hair, the closer to heaven. And we’re serious, hon.

Psst: The judges give extra points for a “wash and set” hairdo because it’s full of hope and hairspray.





You May Also Like


The Chatter

Baltimore Native André De Shields Wins First Tony Award

De Shields gave a shout-out to Charm City in his acceptance speech for his role in “Hadestown”

Arts District

Baltimore Tattoo Artists Share Their Stories

We sat down with some local artists to talk style, inspiration, and the local scene.



The Chatter

Veep Cast and Crew Reflect on Show’s Baltimore Legacy

The HBO series, which airs its finale Sunday, filmed in Baltimore for four years.

Arts District

Beach House Shares Five of The Band’s Favorite Tracks

Before their Hippodrome show, the dream-pop duo reveals a sneak peek of the setlist.

Arts District

Jackie Copeland Proposes Restorative Vision for the Reginald F. Lewis Museum

The new executive director wants the museum to be a safe place for unsafe ideas.

Connect With Us

Most Read


Is the BSO Headed for a Lockout?: In recent weeks, the ongoing dispute between musicians and management has reached a tipping point over financial woes.

The Iconic Marble Bar is Being Revived Into a Community Cafe: Mobtown Ballroom owners plan to pay homage to the former punk rock haven.

Baltimore Native André De Shields Wins First Tony Award: De Shields gave a shout-out to Charm City in his acceptance speech for his role in “Hadestown”

Adley Rutschman is the New Face of the Orioles Rebuild: Get to know the first pick of the O’s Moneyball era, who seems poised for greatness.

Culture Club: D. Watkins, TT The Artist’s New Doc, and Pride at Creative Alliance: Our monthly roundup of openings, events, and news from the art world.