The Baltimore Grill: Barry Glazer

The never-shy defense lawyer on porn stars, speaking his mind, and besting William Shatner.

Max Weiss - March 2011

The Baltimore Grill: Barry Glazer

The never-shy defense lawyer on porn stars, speaking his mind, and besting William Shatner.

Max Weiss - March 2011


You've seen the TV ads, with their colorful slogan: "Don't urinate on my leg and tell me it's raining." Now, meet the (equally colorful) attorney and animal rights activist behind them.

What is the best advice you ever got?
Don't get married. I recently had my first baby, Schonbek. He is in one of my ads. I love and live with his mother, but I don't like ceremonies, and allowing a stranger (judge) to determine what is fair in my life and relations is not on my agenda.

What is the biggest mistake you've ever made?
Going to an all-boys school. [Baltimore City College.]

When were you most tempted to leave Baltimore?
What time is it?

Who would play you in the movie of your life?
Ron Jeremy.

What is your guilty pleasure?
I only feel guilty when I'm not pleased.

If you could write Baltimore's motto, what would it be?
I don't think much of mottos for cities; they seem silly.

What made you decide to advertise on TV?
Money.

Have any judges ever referenced the ads?
Yes, they sometimes joke about the urine one. I enjoy the recognition.

You seem like somebody who truly wants to fight for the underdog.
My father always seemed to be getting the short end of things. He was a shipping clerk and never earned very much but worked hard and provided the family with the necessities. We lived in an area filled with underdogs. They never seemed to have a chance against the big corporations or insurance companies.

Ever afraid that your strong opinions are going to alienate some clients?
I am sure I have. Fortunately, most of my clients are interested in how much money they get for their cases. Anyway, I can't help myself. I've always had strong opinions and it's in my DNA to express them.

Your other big passion is animals. . .
I have always been crazy about dogs. They have all the good attributes of people and none of the horrible ones.

Lawyer Mike Slocumb has William Shatner in his ads. Your response?
I am trying to get Richard Sher to talk to Oprah for me.





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